From elation to misery and back...
24" x 30" x 1.5" mixed media on canvas
To the Reader: Polaroids
Who are you, austere little cloud
drawn to this page, this sky in the dream
I'm having of meeting you here?
There should be a word that means "tiny sky."
Probably there is, in Japanese.
A verbal Polaroid of a Polaroid.
But you're the sky, not a cloud.
I'm the cloud. I gather and dissipate,
but you are always here.
Leave a message for me if you can.
Break a twig on the lilac, or toss
a few dried petals on the hood of my car.
May neither of us forsake the other.
The cloud persists in the darkness,
but the darkness does not persist.
- Chase Twichell (1950 - )
This painting has had a least four lives, and throughout each incarnation, my mood has swayed from elation to complete misery. I started it in February, thinking I would paint it in a style similar to The Vine, very flat and decorative. I got as far as painting part of the background and the body of the figure with a koi fish tattoo. And then it sat, because I just wasn't feeling the love, and I started getting really involved in a series of paintings for my upcoming show. When I finally returned to it this week, I thought I'd just soften the background and continue the tattooing process, adding cherry blossoms and leaves. But it wasn't to be.... and thus started my bipolar week.
I will spare you the details of how and why I completely changed the background twice and the body about four times. Suffice to say, my emotional state went up and down with each success and each failure. What I had thought would take just a couple of days, ended up consuming my entire week, but I'm so glad I stuck it out and brought my vision to fruition. All that remains now is to complete the white ink detailing in the hair, and I'll be done! The hardest but best decision I made was to cover the koi fish and go in a softer direction. Although that pretty fish that had taken several hours to paint, once it was gone, I felt liberated. I know it will return when the time is right!