anonyrrie: From elation to misery and back...

Saturday, April 21, 2007

From elation to misery and back...

Tiny Sky
24" x 30" x 1.5" mixed media on canvas

To the Reader: Polaroids

Who are you, austere little cloud
drawn to this page, this sky in the dream
I'm having of meeting you here?

There should be a word that means "tiny sky."
Probably there is, in Japanese.
A verbal Polaroid of a Polaroid.

But you're the sky, not a cloud.
I'm the cloud. I gather and dissipate,
but you are always here.

Leave a message for me if you can.
Break a twig on the lilac, or toss
a few dried petals on the hood of my car.

May neither of us forsake the other.
The cloud persists in the darkness,
but the darkness does not persist.

- Chase Twichell (1950 - )

This painting has had a least four lives, and throughout each incarnation, my mood has swayed from elation to complete misery. I started it in February, thinking I would paint it in a style similar to The Vine, very flat and decorative. I got as far as painting part of the background and the body of the figure with a koi fish tattoo. And then it sat, because I just wasn't feeling the love, and I started getting really involved in a series of paintings for my upcoming show. When I finally returned to it this week, I thought I'd just soften the background and continue the tattooing process, adding cherry blossoms and leaves. But it wasn't to be.... and thus started my bipolar week.

I will spare you the details of how and why I completely changed the background twice and the body about four times. Suffice to say, my emotional state went up and down with each success and each failure. What I had thought would take just a couple of days, ended up consuming my entire week, but I'm so glad I stuck it out and brought my vision to fruition. All that remains now is to complete the white ink detailing in the hair, and I'll be done! The hardest but best decision I made was to cover the koi fish and go in a softer direction. Although that pretty fish that had taken several hours to paint, once it was gone, I felt liberated. I know it will return when the time is right!


Blogger md said...

wow didnt i say last week was my fav. ok nix that. lov her fern tat and her hair even if it isnt finish and the soaring bird is very inspirational in this. glad u killed the koi in this one even though i do like it in ur other painting.

7:39 PM  
Blogger studio lolo said...

Quite beautiful Carla! I see a raven theme in your future, right? I love the mingling of textures here. I'm so glad the roller coaster ride you took painting this has paid off. It's wonderful!

9:20 PM  
Blogger Rick Lovell said...

Lovely. Interesting how some pieces take us on journeys that are unexpected but interesting and ultimately meaningful. It's the ones we struggle with that mean the most, the ones we remember. This will likely be one to remember.

9:44 PM  
Blogger andrea said...

Ay -- how well I know your present mood. Good for you for sticking with it -- it has subtlety and layers of luminosity. Looking forward to the final product!

10:07 PM  
Blogger KaRLa said...

As always great works, i like the colors the shadows and lighs well done

10:47 PM  
Blogger Nicole said...

Interesting and touching!

2:12 AM  
Blogger Jana Bouc said...

It's been awhile since I've done IF and I've missed visiting and seeing your work. This one is lovely and so mystical. I know exactly what you were talking about with the highs and lows working on an ever-changing painting. I'm glad you were able express your original concept--it's very strong.

2:16 AM  
Blogger Digital Scott's illustrationblog said...

Nice work, Carla! Thanks for sharing about your experience.

2:20 AM  
Blogger Tony LaRocca said...

How do you do such beautiful work? I'm sure that poor fish was quite happy where he was! ;)

8:38 AM  
Blogger steve said...

Wonderful piece Carla, and though I'm sorry about the trials and tribulations this work has put you through, I'm glad you shared this experience with us and look at the results! I can't imagine it needing any more work but I'm sure you'll find a way to improve it even more. Your story reminds me of a very frustrating afternoon yesterday trying to sketch a bobcat skull. I don't know why I was having so much trouble--trying different techniques and styles-nothing was working for some reason. I ended up keeping most of the scrapped atempts, cut 'em up and made some abstract collages from them. Sometimes the process teaches us what it's like to be patient. Anyhow, glad you stuck with this Carla!

8:53 AM  
Blogger Toni said...

I love the direction your paintings are taking. Because there is so much meaning behind them they do take time. Don't fret if they do not come quickly. Remember your guides are constantly talking to you and directing. When we have to walk away from a painting there is a reason so follow your gut feeling and not your head. You are intuitive Carla, follow it. Let us know about your show.

9:06 AM  
Blogger Babe in the Woods said...

Its funny how you start out with a plan and during the course, it changes. Your work is always beautiful and some are breathtaking. No matter how your paintings end up, they are wonderful pieces. I'm glad you didn't use the fish but am waiting to see what you do with it.

9:12 AM  
Blogger Michelle Lana said...

Carla, your work is so beautiful. great!

9:44 AM  
Blogger Merisi's Vienna For Beginners said...

Carla, this is stunning!
I agree with Rick Lovell. A painting to remember. A joy to look at and behold.

5:16 PM  
Blogger Ces said...

This series of paintings are absolutely fantastic. I love looking at the details. The hair of the woman and the plants in the previous post. Every strand and leaf is a treasure.

1:18 AM  
Blogger RonniHall said...

Carla, I remember my painting teacher told me painting is so emotional and is therapy. We work through so much! Sounds like this is has been one wild ride for you with this piece. It's the glorious hair that stands out. A masterpiece!

12:28 PM  
Blogger Alina Chau said...

Lovely piece!

6:40 PM  
Blogger Rrramone said...

beautiful as always...

9:39 PM  
Blogger Lenna said...

wow, Carla . . . I love seeing each painting emerge! There are similarities here in this one to other paintings you have recently done, but each one is different. I love your use of the marbled paper in all the paintings I have seen, but especially here. It makes me smile to see this! You are right to go with your instincts and trust yourself. Looking forward to more and feeling spoiled that I get to see them in person, hanging in the Gallery very soon!!!

3:16 PM  
Blogger modroom said...

It's almost like a sky bowl with kaleidoscopic hair river!

5:53 PM  
Blogger tiffini elektra x said...

That quilted like hair is just so stunning. I am in love with your color palette. Beautiful and just magical piece.

9:56 PM  
Blogger scribblesk said...

Stunning, well worth the arduous process! Elegant and lush! Love it!

11:20 PM  
Blogger Courtney said...

her hair is loooovely. so quiet and mysterious.

6:36 PM  
Blogger kj said...

carla, my friend, the hair has a story to tell. as always, i am enthralled with the background. someday i would love to see a series of sceneries. your places are always magical....


8:24 PM  
Blogger Brandi said...

I love this one - the hair is amazing! Is that paint Carla? I tell you, I cant even guess sometimes how you do what you do ;-) Suppose that is a good thing - always keeping me on my toes. I am just a painter so mine is paint, paint or paint!! Hee Hee!

5:50 PM  
Blogger Judy Scott said...

Where ever your journey took you this is certainly a wonderful destination, beautiful ~ Judy x

7:41 PM  
Blogger Bearuh said...

Hi carla I have not been by your blog in forever! Your art is even better than before!!! I really really like it.. its so pretty!
I am stopping by to let you know I have started a new blog where you can win an award for your art work. I would be happy to have you as one of the first members!

3:07 PM  
Blogger Ginger*:)* said...

Reading about the ups and downs of this painting was almost as interesting as viewing it in its finished state. The work you have done here is beautiful.
It is a fact of life for artist's that it is sometimes so hard to let go of an idea or a brush stroke, but when it is replaced with just the right tone and line, it sings a new song.
This painting is gorgeous!

12:45 PM  
Blogger Jane said...

I do hope you will be posting some photos from your show.
I love the work I see here, and I will be checking back!

2:24 PM  

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